50 Questions - 50 Answers (by Rahul)

01. What time did you get up this morning?
11:00 am

02. How do u like your steak?
Not in my plate

03. What was the last film you saw at a cinema?
Kaminey

04. What is your favorite TV show?
one of That 70's Show and Seinfeld

05. If you could live anywhere in the world, where it would be?
Mumbai maybe, then again...there's a lot of places left to explore

06. What did you have for breakfast?
nothing, ate lunch straightaway:$

07. What is your favorite cuisine?
Hakka Chinese, Indian, Thai.

08. What foods do you dislike?
lauki,tinde,kaddu ki sabzi

09. Favorite place to eat?
Gupta ji's bhel stall outside Andheri station, Brar in brampton, and The Works in Ottawa

10.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Hyosung GV 250 aka Laila

12. What are your favorite clothes?
cotton tshirts and shorts for summer. Motorcycle riding gear any time of the year :)

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
BC, Newfoundland Labrador, Sweden, Austria, Greece, Dominican Republic(lodging boarding funded by Khare bhaiyya). Nepal is next on the list though, hopefully during the December trip.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Depends on whether the cup contains alcohol or not

15. Where would you want to retire?
Too early to decide

16. Favorite time of the day?
Morning. I value it more just because i see it so infrequently

17. Where were you born?
Veraval, Gujrat,India

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Cricket on tv, Baseball at the stadium

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?


20. Person you expect to tag back you first?


21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?


22. Bird watcher?
Yes

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night person

24. Do you have any pets?
No

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
I will finish this VR project report tonight, aye meri pratigya hai :)

26. What did you want to do when you were little?
Doctor, since always.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Playing dark room in my grandmother's house with my cousins, playing cricket with cousins every morning. Annual day at school, and the month-long preparation leading up to it. There was a one-hour practice period for drama/dance participants. I would act in Hindi drama, practice period was fun :D.

28. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Cats and Dogs are evil.

29. Are you married?
No.

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Always, even in India.

31. Been in a car accident?
no

32. Any pet peeves?
Having my stuff rearranged by family, bad driving

33. Favorite pizza toppings?
Tomato, cheese, black olives

34. Favorite flower?
There was one in my front lawn this summer that I loved, don't know the name though:$

35. Favorite ice cream?
Butterscotch, Mango

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Pizza Pizza, Falafel hut

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
3...4 maybe?

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Huxia...VR project partner asking for status of our project report:)

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
ThinkGeek maybe, or a motorcycle accessory store

40. Do anything spontaneously?
Travel:)

41. Happy with your job?
Very happy :)

42. Brocolli?
Great with pasta

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Summer 2008 was great in parts. I've also had some very memorable 2-3 day visits to Ottawa.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Pandit, TJ, TP, KevinXu

45. What are you listening to right now?
Aj Discowaale Khisko - Dil bole hadippa.

46. What is you favorite color?
Blue.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
None.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
None.

49. In what time did you finish this quiz?
Didn't check

50. Coffee drinker?
No

the 50 question tag

This one's from delhidreams. Long time since I even blogged. But I somehow like tags.

01. What time did you get up this morning?
at 9:45 a.m.!!!

02. How do u like your steak?
No stake on steak

03. What was the last film you saw at a cinema?
watched Kaminey yday :)

04. What is your favorite TV show?
Not a big fan of TV. But if I spot Friends running , I am surely going to watch it.

05. If you could live anywhere in the world, where it would be?
Right where I am at the moment. The place which has given me a life back.

06. What did you have for breakfast?
A granola bar, and a slice of bread with margarine.

07. What is your favorite cuisine?
Indian. Nothing beats it! Then Italian, Hakka Chinese.

08. What foods do you dislike?
Healthy foods :)

09. Favorite place to eat?
A lot of them... Pizza Hut for Pizzas, Aahar for Indian food, Lingarden for Hakka Chinese...

10. As Adee pointed, there was no question number 10!

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
A bike (LOL read bicycle). Also trying to drive a car.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
PJs and skirts for summer, Sweaters for winters, Saris for parties/weddings

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Everywhere!! Italy, Paris, Switzerland, The Caribbean, Dalhousie, Vancouver, Nova Scotia, Srinagar, Ooty, Kodaikanal, Kerala.... you name it and fund me!!!!

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Umm 1/2 full...

15. Where would you want to retire?
In Canada!

16. Favorite time of the day?
Night... Other than that, evenings and chai sessions :)

17. Where were you born?
India

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
I'd rather play than watching. Chess. But cricket in bits and pieces. May be live badminton...

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
I donno. What a person chooses is entirely their choice...

20. Person you expect to tag back you first?
Donno.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Anyone who continues. Humans are more interesting than one can ever imagine.

22. Bird watcher?
No.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Totally a night person.

24. Do you have any pets?
Pet animals, no. Pets yes :)

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
Stay tuned for one... There's none at the moment, but this life makes us anticipate... and I am anticipating some soon

26. What did you want to do when you were little?
I wanted to be a teacher, and then an environmentalist...

27. What is your best childhood memory?
Of ours being the only house surrounded by farms far and wide, of the gas station, of random people lifting me and taking me out, of a swing in the verandah of my house, of a lot of pictures of mine, of the most loving parents, of an extremely happy, lucky and carefree childhood.

28. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
Both. Actually more of a cat person, coz not all dogs are cute.

29. Are you married?
No.

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Mostly. Wouldn't like to be fined you see :)

31. Been in a car accident?
Touchwood, no.

32. Any pet peeves?
:)

33. Favorite pizza toppings?
Cheese and tomatoes. Even pineapple. Green pepper and onions are OK. Olives, mushrooms, jalapenos are a big NO-NO.

34. Favorite flower?
Tulips for their beauty, sunflowers for their happiness, red roses for their passion.

35. Favorite ice cream?
Chocolate.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
I donno. There's not one "fast food" place here that sells all kinds of fast foods...

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
LOL. I canceled it coz I knew I would fail it :p, and I am waiting to give my first one sometime soon.

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Honey P.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Since it's not happening, I would like to choose the Bay. Actually I don't think I can do that at just one store. I can do it in one day, at a number of stores.

40. Do anything spontaneously?
A lot of things. Eat out, watch movies. I am also an impulsive buyer, so shopping counts too.

41. Happy with your job?
Yes :) :p

42. Brocolli?
No. It's healthy!

43. What was your favorite vacation?
lol. The entire summer of 2009!

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
MP, RV and NM.

45. What are you listening to right now?
Some gora music been playing in this coffee shop.

46. What is you favorite color?
Blue, in a lot of its shades.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
None.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
Four.

49. In what time did you finish this quiz?
Close to 45 minutes, just coz I was multi-tasking.

50. Coffee drinker?
Yepp, totally. Can have upto 3 coffees a day, and still be able to sleep peacefully in the night.

PS: Would like Apsy, Peenuts, Rahul, Satish to please respond to the tag ...

The Catch Up Session

It's been forever since I have been away from Blogger. My life's moving faster than I can take it. I still haven't caught up with myself... let alone catching up with my blog... I really have no time to catch up with myself - life's taking me on a zooming rollercoaster ride. And I'm totally loving it! I've never been happier, never been more content. I don't have a spare moment to sit and think - the past and the future isn't there. It's the present, and has really come like a present in my life.

But I do miss writing. There are times when my mind's so full of ideas, there are times when I know I want to write, but, well, I don't have the time...

So anyway, a brief update of my life-at-the-moment follows. In terms of work, have been able to complete two successful semesters, and am starting up with my research. Besides that, my time in the day gets spent in cooking. Evenings are for tea and samosa-and-the-likes-of-it sessions. Weekends are abuzz with friends or partying or with traveling here and there, including home. I go for occasional Shiamak Davar dance classes. I've also got a bike (read bicycle) and go biking in the evenings these days. Ottawa is extremely pretty and scenic, and has a biking route along the Ottawa river. I'm loving the summer in Ottawa, although it rains quite often here. Also included in the plan is to get registered for a Beginner's French course in July-August. There's also been a decent amount of addition to my zoo. I'll post the pictures of my lovey-dovey animals some other day I guess.

That I guess is the extremely brief summary of the current happenings in the life of Chunky. Adieus world, I am off to biking very soon =)

Mood of the moment: Chirpy

Song of the moment: Chalte-chalte hu hi ruk jaata hoon main (Mohabbatein)

Time of the moment: 12:45 p.m.

Expression...

Not until lately have I understood the importance of expressing. It is important to express your confidence and knowledge in an interview. It is equally important to tell someone you love how much you love them. Actions speak as well, and words do so too. Don't be like the Suri Jee of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and assume that your Taani ji would know how much you love her. On a side note I think it would have been perfectly fair for Taani if she chose to go away with her Raj partner. Telling and doing something for someone you love makes them feel really special. It's an on-top-of-the-world feeling, and I don't think that there is a reason why the feeling shouldn't be conferred upon the one you love...
I don't mean I have to be told everytime that I am being loved... it's easy to see when there's something to see...
There's a peculiar kind of satisfaction that one gets by doing something for someone they love. I am writing on this topic after a long time I think... too early? too late? should i? should i not? oh well! life's a weird mystery isn't it? and love takes the top spot in the list..

I'm luvin' it!

I love my life. It cannot be better than now, it was as good ever. It feels like "living a life" - precisely what I asked from The One before I moved here.

It feels like being on top of the world starting a lazy morning, taking my own sweet time to get ready and prepare and/or have meals, walking to the Timmy's close by, watching the falling rain sipping a cup of awesome coffee. It feels equally awesome not knowing when and how my day comes to an end.

I have a family away from a family - people that are very much responsible for giving me everything that I have wanted. There's also another family that I have built in Ottawa, take a look!! It will be the cutest of families you'd look at :-), and proudly yes, it's my family :-)

Janu

Jina and Jojo


Chinu

Chiku


Chiku, Chinu, Jojo are indirectly related to me... I also have Chiki and Daku and Snowy, of which I don't have a picture at the moment... :) My roommate correctly calls my room a zoo, and says she doesn't need to get a ticket to see animals anymore! :p

blah blah

Dear World!

Hope life n times are treating you nicely and sweetly. Love has
n't decreased for you due to recession :-)

I talked to a lot of important people in my life today. Have been missing so many o
f them. I wasn't very successful at being able to steal everyone's times. Thanks to you who talked to me...
Sometimes, just knowing that there's someone to listen to you when you feel like you want to talk crap is so very comforting. So many are still in line - I get stuck with "what do I start with?" I am trying to avoid the inconvenience of not talking for the longest possible times...


3rd april 2009


I am still missing people. This post was started 10 days ago... It is strange - I have so many people around me, a lot of times in the day. But still... I have been sick again recently, people have cared for me treated me back to health again.
Life's kind of ironic. Maybe it is the fear of losing what I have right now is what makes me blue. I know it all, but still...

I am going to make an attempt writing a poem today after ages. This was a very kiddo style post written all haph-hazzardly so that I can just post this...

Mood of the moment: Blue, Confused, Homesick

Answer in Points

There's a lot of people losing jobs. I heard from my buddy at the old job yesterday, they lost another guy. Man stayed with the company for 15 years, went on paternity leave for 6 months, got laid off on his first day back. Bad time to be at work, good time to be in grad school...especially when your education is being funded.
I didnt like Chunky's last post. My issues start with her user handle itself....'Chunky' reminds me of Chunkey Pandey....which instantly reminds me of Harry Baweja's 'Qayamat', an extremely traumatic experience that I went through in 2nd yr engineering, thanks to my cable guy.
One thing I loved about the last post was that it was written in points. As a TA, you tend to start liking things written in points....they're generally easier to mark than essay type answers. I remember how I always had issues writing answers in points for my science exam in school. I never seemed to have enough points, plus it was extremely difficult to bullshit through the exam. Anyway, heres a few things I wanted to write about, in points (in no sorted order) -

- Ram Gopal Varma was wayyy ahead of the times when he made Satya. The movie is a masterpiece!! Then he started taking a few/several steps back with each movie, and got with the times. Now he's plain mediocre, maybe worse(depending on whether or not you have watched AAG)
-Cute movies make me happy. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist was a very cute movie. I liked!
-I'm excited about the IPL. I hope it starts on time, without much disruption because of the election.
- Congress will win this election, I think. BJP needs to get over the Hindutva agenda. But then, would they have anything to talk about? Both parties need a charismatic leader. And we need a PM who is guaranteed to live for the next 5 years without going on life support through their term.
- They're publishing my research paper in 3 different magazines it seems. I'm hoping it helps me get some sort of scholarship for the next year.
- I definitely have to learn to swim this summer. I've also been thinking about getting a motorcycle license. I definitely can't afford a bike though. Won't the license be just a waste of money? :(
- Wanna go travelling this summer, even if for 2 weeks. Maybe to Vancouver....or eastwards (Newfoundland Labrador)......or UK.....or Brazil....or anywhere....theres a world out there that needs to be travelled!
- Technical research papers are full of shit. In a 10 page research paper, theres max 3 pages worth of information, the rest is just padding.
- I can't imagine how North America's auto sector is ever going to get better
- E. Ruppert is a genius
-http://desi-talkies.blogspot.com/2009/02/dev-d-2009.html#4
part 4 of the movie, start watching at 10 mins and 10 secs. I'm slightly in love with Kalki Koechlin. Dev D was nice, the love story was sweet. I liked.
- Want to volunteer this summer, just can't find an organization who's ideas I believe in. Might go out and plant a few trees this summer. Any other suggestions/recommendations?
- NEED to find a thesis topic before the start of summer. Wish me luck.
- The 'Answer in Points' idea reminded me of a joke i heard in school.
Santa , Banta and Kartar Singh went to write an exam at school. The invigilator handed them the papers, and went to get a cup of tea. When he came back, he saw the three students sitting with their pants off, and writing the exam. He yelled "Ye kya kar rahe ho!??"
Santa replied "Sir, yahan likha hua hai.... Answer in briefs :$"

Revision...

• The games of the One really are very tricky. He makes sure you learn. He makes sure you remember your lessons. He makes sure He is remembered. He makes sure you never figure out if really everything happens for a reason, and if it does, what is the reason behind a certain happening.
• Things that happen are bound to happen.
• Not all losses are permanent. A minority of losses are permanent.
• You can always find something to be happy about or sad about, really depending on the kind of person you are.
• Moments of sorrow last way longer than relatively the same length moments of happiness.
• It is important to know what you are punished for, to realize your mistake.
• You do not feel the pain as much if you are not the victim.
• People are born to do masala-talking.
• The left hand side and the right hand side of life do not always balance in the end for anyone.
• Luck is a big factor.
• I'll know what I have only after I lose it.

Some things I've always known… just a quick recap is needed at times :) He does make sure the revisions are timely!

The Month of Love

The year just started and February is already here - the month that contains the day meant to celebrate love. Why is 2009 running so fast? Time is so dangerously relative... 2009 is the year that I think should stay on forever!

I realized sometime last year around this time, Valentine's day is just another day for people in love. Yes, they do something special that day, but they feel special throughout the year. Valentine's day leaves more of a negative impact and longing in the people who are love-deprived, even more for the people who have tasted the wine of love at some point down the memory lane... It's meant to make you feel the absence of love rather than the presence of love is my whole point. But anyway, apart from a sadist kind of a note there, I like the special "things" that people do or look forward for doing on that day. I like the planning process that leads to making that one day in the year extremely special. I especially like to see people all dressed up but covered by their winter jackets, and carrying a stem or a bouquet of brightly fresh red roses in their hands - either they received it, or are going to give it to their loved ones. I love it how businesses attempt to sell anything and everything on the pretext of Valentine's day. I love it absolutely how there are mushy mushy soft-toys, shops decorated in the colors of red and love. I love it how people's first Valentine's holds so much attention and excitement. I love it how that one day actually has love in the air in the very literal sense of the phrase.

Happy Valentine's Day people. May you be loved truly, sincerely and purely always... Love is a blessing, never take it for granted. You are special because you are loved. And yes, thanks for being there for me :). You all know who you are, and you all know how special you are to me. Lots and lots and lots of love :)

A day in his life

His day begins when his loving mother shakes him to wake him up to begin his exceedingly long day. This thirteen-year old child does not have the privilege of a morning sleep on the pretext of a stomach ache so he doesn't even try, although much like the other children of his age he loves sleeping in. He dresses up in his khaki colored nikker* and half-sleeved white shirt colored in shades of black, grey and brown over the last three days and hops, skips and jumps for a good fifty minutes to get to Basant Chowk, one of the busy parts of Mumbai, even before the horizon turns light crimson. Once he reaches his destination, a chirpy "Namaste babu!" is uttered to the grave looking gentleman sitting at the counter of the chai ki dukaan and he's all set to hustle about the place taking orders and serving the customers.

The morning time is extremely busy as the Indian population needs to wake up with a refreshing cup of tea in order to make their teeny-weeny contribution to the nation's progress. Splitting the clientele of the area with the only other chai shop in the vicinity, the grave looking owner of the chai shop makes sure that he keeps Chhotu and the like on his toes. The morning clientele of the shop has become pretty much regular. Chhotu even remembers the orders of some of the customers by heart, and repeats their orders as a confirmation from them and proceeds with their orders. The weekday morning blues of a number of grumpy sleepy customers sometimes have Chhotu chided to hurry up for their orders. As the day proceeds, Chhotu's legs get relaxed too. In between serving people, Chhotu also has the responsibility of filling up the display trays, cleaning the tables, and helping the people in the kitchen with meager tasks. There are times in the day when he stands still and stares at the television screen meant for customers, and switches back to reality only when Babu's loud shrill voice pierces his ears.

The chai shop attracts a multitude of diversely cultured people to it - ranging from shopkeepers to call center agents to foreign visitors. Occasionally, some young modern enthusiast asks Chhotu why he doesn't go to school and goes on to explain the benefits of education. Chhotu shrugs and gives his marveled response that he's happy where he is, he can understand what's written on the currency of India, and he can tell fake money from real one and that is all he really cares about. Perhaps that is his way of consoling himself now. Perhaps he really is happy. Being of an observant nature, Chhotu gets to learn every single day of his life. The foreign visitors who go to the chai shop "to get the real feel of India" don't look down on him as a menial person - they are well aware of the dignity of labour. In two years Chhotu has learnt enough English to understand and get his message through to the foreigners. He has also realized that the gora people give more tips than the desi crowd. Occasionally, he sees families coming to the place, where spoilt children of rich parents show attitudes and obstinacy. It is very hard for Chhotu to imagine how that is even possible. But well, he learns - people are different. Life is different to different people too.

Chhotu is what people name him when they see him the first time and call him to place an order "Oye Chhotu! Idhar aa." He's small - he's just thirteen, and that is the most common name that a small working boy gets in India. Chhotu actually has a name that only people in his family are aware of - Ramesh. His world - his mother, his 15 years old elder brother and his 2 years old younger sister, is thankfully a loving family. After Chhotu and his brother reaches in the evening after their long day, their mother has already cooked for them, and they are all set to eat dinner. Chhotu doesn't get to play every day, but every week he gets a day off, and that is what he spends with his friends playing on the roads and the dusty cricket ground close by along with helping his mother take care of his sister and helping her get some bare minimum necessities for the week. Things have been harder to manage for the family recently because of the demise of Chhotu's father and the non-working status of his mother since the birth of his two-years old sister.

He dreams as big as his size. He dreams of owning a similar chai shop some day. He dreams of contributing to get his sister married - his mother talks about that a lot. He dreams of being able to play cricket with his friends everyday. His unrealistic dreams involve meeting Hrithik Roshan some day, and of being extremely rich so that he doesn't have to work at all. Nevertheless, he can separate the reality from his virtual world, and is leading a content life for the moment. He doesn't have the time to sit back and measure the contentment and happiness in his life - he has to do things the way they are now. He'll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow shows its face...

*Half-pants/shorts

The Change

It was for quite a while that everything in life was right or wrong for me. There was no third category where I categorized events - I tried to do things that were right and felt guilty for doing things that were in the wrong category. Most things in life are relative - so are right and wrongs. Things have changed now. The guilt has decreased for doing the wrong things now. As you grow up, the guilt takes a corner in the heart, or rather, we push the guilt to occupy one of the darkest corners of the heart. And once you are able to do this is when you lose your innocence and step into the world of adults.

Things are more "me oriented" now. I do things I "want" to do. Hiding is not lying. lol that is what I say to console myself... I do not know if that is a good thing or bad, but that is how it is now. Life is an ever continuing learning process, and I'm doing my part of the learning. And my part of the living as well. Oh well, the only thing that doesn't have place in my life is regrets, after cigarettes!!!

For the time being, people, listen to Delhi-6 (Masakali and Dil gira kahin par dafatan)... Masakali is amazingly mast and dil gira is an awe-filled song. Must listen I say...


P.S: @Satish, I haven't forgotten the post... I know it's taking a bit longer, but yea, trust me, I am going to get it done soon :)

The sun rose today!

I got a chance to see the sunrise today after countably many days!! I saw the dusk turn into dawn and the dawn give way to morning. On the west side of the sky was the moon waxed to its three-fourths and on the east side of the sky the sun was cheerfully spreading its lovely red wings and gracefully coming up past the horizon. An amazing site to see... the very warm sunshine wanted a part of me to believe that it was pleasantly warm outside, but good thing our weathermen have more impact on us to make us believe that despite the tricky warm sunshine, the temperature outside is -34 degrees. Yes, and it was very cold outside! After a meager sleep of 1 hour in the previous night, I couldn't enjoy the morning freshness for a long time :).
And I am very tired at the moment, however, not sleepy :) The insomnia is back!!! :)

Just Another Day!

I sit sharing my hot cup of large coffee with my loneliness at the Timmie's close to my home. Staring out of the Timmie's glass window has become my favourite, and in fact, the only past time these days. Everything's white outside, with the hillocks of snow been reducing in height everyday since the past three days - it hasn't snowed again since then in my part of the world. There's a transit bus shelter right outside the coffee shop which has been abandoned for more than a month now. One side of the shelter has a huge poster reading "Be part of the Solution - Take Transit". It couldn't get more ironic than this, specially at this given time when the public transit of my world has been on strike for more than a month and has crippled a lot of people and businesses alike.

A few cars are on the road - the area's quite and it's 9:40 p.m. on a Sunday evening. A very small bunch of people are out there too - it is minus 13 degrees with the wind blowing at 10 kmph afterall - either they must be bored or need urgent groceries and the transit's not an option. The Timmie's staff is busy doing their chores even if there are no customers in here except for me.

I like this time of the day because I am purely dedicated to my loneliness. We smile, we think, we talk. My companion loneliness hasn't left me ever. It's been there when I have been alone and when I have needed a friend. There have been times when it has been there with me even when I have been amidst people. I've grown so used to its presence and thank it for literally, always being there with me!

But anyway, I am done with the last sip of my coffee and realize it is high time I get to home and have my dinner. Good bye world! It is 10:00 p.m.


P.S. The photograph is not related to the place I was at! It's a picture clicked on the snowy afternoon of 7th Jan 2009 outside my house.

The Cleanup

And now it was the turn of her study room after her room's closet. She was cleaning up her study to determine which items she wanted to discard before moving out. She picked up one paper at a time from pile one and skimmed through its contents and then put them in the second or third pile depending on whether she wanted to keep it or discard it. She held the next paper in the pile, unfolded it and began reading "hmmm so the reply...". Immediately she froze adjusting her eyes to stare into the empty corner of the study. The paper had curved corners and the ink along the folds of the paper had almost washed off with time as well as multiple acts of folding and unfolding the paper. 2 long years and she still decided on continuing to read the reply. It was a two-page long reply that was never sent to the person it was written for. She had no trouble reading the washed off parts of the paper. With tears in her eyes as she read the last line of the letter, "Thanks for being there whenever you were", among other things she tried to think if things would have been any different had she sent the email. May be the agony of being in nowhere would have reduced for her for a couple of months and may be the recipient's agony of knowing the truth so bluntly would have increased for the same amount of time. She was amazed at how untrained and reminiscent her heart had been even now, after it had got a lot more love in the past two years and had loved too. Anyway, there was no point thinking about the right and the wrongs now, when life for her had taken a very peaceful and calm road. She folded the paper back again like it had not been touched in the near past and put it on top of the third pile and continued her chore of picking up the next paper from pile one and skimming through it. A short pause from reading and her glare returned to the empty corner of her present study room once again. While her right hand held the paper she was reading her left hand sneaked to the top of the third pile and slyly shifted the top of stack to the second pile. A deep sigh and the eyes got back to reading the paper in the right hand...

No wonder numerous move outs and move ins and ups and downs have not snatched the heart's ability to reminisce...

Random blah

Everything moves on, they say, with time. And what doesn't move on dies.
And I haven't entirely died. However, certain things do not die, and do not move on either. It's the nature of memories I believe. They do their task - come. I do mine - relive them and die with them.

There's not much I want to say.
Should I? Should I not?
Is it right? Is it not?
Is it needed? Is it not?
Is it expected? Is it not?
Is it wished for? Is it not?
Is it understood? Is it not?
Should I? Should I not?

Songs of these moments:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeypOvsY91Q
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=7E1xbX-QSGY

Dastak

aaj toh dil ka darwaza khol de
ek arse ke baad aaj andar aane de

yaad, tumhari hi dastak ka intezaar tha
tum aaogi, poora poora aitbaar tha

aaj tujhse teri haalat ka hisaab lena hai
ek arse ke baad aaj jawaab dena hai

yaad, mera ek sandesa le ke jana hai
khush rehna, bus itna hi kehna hai

... and counting!

nth number of days since a particular event happened... umpteen number of days for a particular something to happen ... and today is the day when a certain something happened or when I am supposed to do a certain something...

I don't think the counting and tracking ever stops! And I am tired of it! Why am I unable to live 7th January 2009 as 7th January 2009 instead of as 7th January? Why am I unable to realize that 7th January 2009 doesn't exist in history, and that nothing of the past needs to celebrate its anniversary today... Is it the same with everyone :) ?

One day at a time is how anyone should live. There's no future that we are sure about. There's no past that we can hold on to and live. Intangible is the word, my friend!

Someone asked me today, HOW can you bear to hangout with Mr. X!!! And I was reminded of a very old and extremely favorite quotation of mine: Life is too short to love, I wonder how people find time to hate... This, somehow, doesn't go with the flow of what I was saying. However, I put this down to be reminded about this one-time-favorite quote of mine and to incorporate it into my life once more - to not to spend time hating, to live my one day at a time loving :).

I love you people. You all are very special in my life in the date of 7th January 2009. Do not leave me. Do not leave me counting... x days since u been gone, y days since we talked, z days since it's your birthday again and I do not know what to do... Thanks for being a wonderful part of my life, and for being there for me.

Hum hain raahi pyaar ke, phir milenge chalte chalte!!!