Forgetfulness

"I am going home tomorrow :) "
"?? Where is home? Where are you? I thought you go home every day after work."


"You are not in hospital by any chance?"
"Go figure!"

"Canada? Vancouver? You are in States? You are in India. Oh WAITTT! You came to India a few months back! And you forgot to call me! Yea you are here :)"


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"Nice pic!"
"Thank you :)"
"Where did you click it? Montreal?"
"No! Toronto" *Is doubtful* "You know where I am there days, ya?"
":) Yeah! That is why I said Montreal."



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"I am coming to Toronto over the weekend :) "
"WHY?? WHAT is the need? Isn't that your home now?"
"HUHHH???"

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The New Look!!!

:)

Changed the look of the blog and added some gadgets in the side bar! How does it look?
Good? Bad? Ugly? Better? Worse?

Well, I love it, for a change :) Whatsay?

An Ode to My Smile Fairy

Whenever he comes, he brings loads of smiles for me. And when does he come? When I need a friend the most. He makes you feel like he's right next door, but really he's miles and miles and miles away. You do not have to tell him you are crying, or upset - he just knows. And he knows exactly what to say to make you smile. The cutest of things, the most natural kind of humor, and the best advice is what I get from him. And he thinks I am a "poori saddist beauty"! And rightly, he thinks he is my Smile Fairy. He told me that I was the one who brings out this funny guy in him, but I do not think I believe him. He's such a natural.

No wonder he works with words everyday of his life! He weaves his dreams with words, and hopes and prays that one day they'll be a big reality in his life. He's the kind of magician who takes every day objects and turns them into the most astounding kind of poetry. Impossible to believe, but very true. He believes his words like no one else. His spelling mistakes are attributed to the fact that he's in love! I am so very sorry that he's angry with very few people in life, and one guy adds up to his list because of me.

So this, my friends is the story of my Smile Fairy, The Adee and Ant of Dee - Adi! Thanks for being such a wonderful person!

By the way, he also thinks if you call up a guy friend in the middle of the night and tell him you are missing him, the guy is going to love it and will talk to you atleast for the next half an hour, no matter whether he has a girl friend or not! What do you guys think?

Song of the moment: Kabhi socha hai kya, barish kyun bhaaye, kyun geet bewajah hothon pe aaye ... :-)

Freedom

Paani ki tarah beh jaane do mujhe
ki aazaadi ka doosra naam hoon main
roko mat, rokne ki koshish mat karo
chalte chale jaane ka hi ek naam hoon main
apna raasta khud dhoond nikalne ki
aadat si ho gayee hai mujhe
baandhon mein padha sadhne lagta hoon
haathon ki ungliyon se bhi nikal jaata hoon

(Like the water, let me flow away
For I am the other name of freedom
Don't stop me, don't try to stop me
I am the other name of going on
Finding my own way has become
More like a habit to me
I start rotting in dams
I escape from between fingers as well)

What an irony!!!

Song of the moment: Jaane kya chahe mann, bawara, ankhiyan mere saawan chala ...

Life is beautiful!!

Been a while since I last blogged... Had been busy with first, trying to adjust, second, a short trip back home, third, work, fourth, life!!

And talking about life reminds me of the quiet walk I had yesterday near the Rideau Canal. I am posting some nice pics that I clicked... And do you know what these pics tell me? They tell me - yes, it does get lonely at times, but loneliness has the nicest of colors... Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself!





Does this look like our world at all? My world's all tumultuous, but remains no longer so, when I become a part of this world! Amazing!!


I love the angular view in this pic ... This is such a serene picture ...


Too late for a pic I guess, but nevertheless, worth a try! The lovely Parliament Hill is what you see up here!


Another shot of the Parliament Hill... If you liked them, and want some more, go to my Facebook acct :)

Wake up! and blog!

Sab jag soye, hum jaagein, taaron se karein baatein .......
Chandni raatein

Yesterday, as I was lying in bed, I had this very strong urge to get up, and blog about something. It was something that I cannot define at this moment as, precisely, I do not remember, but I can gather from faint memory that the characteristics of it were very philosophical. It was as if I really needed to give some treasured piece of advice to the world. And I lay tossing in bed trying to avoid waking up to "blog" at 2:00 a.m. in the morning. And I managed to stay in bed. The result? Well, the world is devoid of some treasured words! :)

Song of the moment: Main jahan rahoon, main kahi bhi rahoon, teri yaad saath hai....
Mood of the moment: Tired and sleepy (if there is such a type of mood!)

Freedom

It is pathetic that, we, the inhabitants of this world, complain about not being free, where we are the ones who cover ourselves behind layers and layers of bondage, and continue to be bound... As I always say, we can, most often than not, choose. We choose worldly responsibilities, societal norms, over what's more important ... and as a result, suffer restraint. Sadly, I am one of this world as well...

It does not count whether the blue colored dress suits me more than the pink one; it doesn't matter what my neighbour would think if I have children that do not get married at "the right age"; it doesn't matter whether I loved and lost, or whether I loved again; it doesn't matter whether I cleared the GMAT test because my mum wanted me to. All that matters in this world is - AM I HAPPY DOING WHAT I AM?

Don't do unto others what you want them to do to you. STOP expecting. Do unto others entirely as you want to do with them. The book Illusions by Richard Bach gives a beautiful, very beautiful example of this. I'd recommend this book for anyone who's really looking at breaking free.

Another powerful and extremely well done book about following what you need to do most is The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho.

But I will be free, someday.

I strive for the day I would be free,
With not a soul to answer
With not a question in mind
With no hunger for love
And with no reasons, no pain

I will be the answer, the enigma
I will be free, someday

Incomplete

A bird without a nest
A success without a test

A glass without water
A talk without laughter

A symbol without a meaning
A magic show without cheating

Ah! what a paired world
And what a symmetric existence...

Nasha

abhi tak hoon choor main
ye kaisa nasha hai
utarne ka jo naam nahi leta

kabhi achcha lagta hai, kabhi bura
ye kaisa nasha hai
asar hi jiska samajh mei na aaya

dhundli deewarein dhundle darwaze
dhundli manzil dhundle hi raaste
dagmagaye ja rahi hoon main
kahin hai is nashe ka ilaaj yaaron
kya koi haqeem koi marham
koi haqeeqat, koi sa bhi barham...



Not-up-to-the-mark Translation:

I am still drunk
What kind of an effect is this
Which doesn't get off you

Sometimes it feels good, sometimes bad,
What kind of an effect is this
The after-effects of which are not understandable

Blurry windows blurry doors,
Blurry destination and blurry ways,
I keep on faltering
Is there a treatment for this drunkenness friends
Is there some doctor some medicine
Is there some reality, or any kind of false belief...

I, Me, and Myself

I've often had people saying, "your blog is so much about you." There, you said it - "your blog"! Well, yea, it is MY BLOG, and I write about me, about stuff I hate, stuff I love, or stuff that has anything to do with me or my thoughts... If anyone has problems, I'd really like to confess I am not changing the way things are written on this blog; you might want to start liking it and continue reading it, or you might want to take a break for all this me-stuff, and blog surf elsewhere!

It is MY blog and will remain so FOREVER...

Memory lane

aaj chand de gaya khidki pe dastak
de gaya beete samay ki phir se jhalak
de gaya phir mann mei ik kasak

kyun rooth sa jaata saara jahaan hai
kyun toote patton sa mann bemanzil uda jaata hai
kyun dard raat ke rangon sa roz roz ubhar aata hai

sochti hoon kya kabhi ye jahaan phir apna lagega
kya kabhi mann udaan ko koi manzil milegi
kya raat ka rang bhor mein ghul ke ghum ho jayega

the moon, today, gave a knock on the window
gave a snapshot of old times
gave an ache in the heart

why does the whole word turn its face away
why, like broken leaves the heart flies without a destination
why, pain, like the colors of the night, rises every day

i am thinking will this world ever feel like my own
will the heart-flying ever get a destination
will the colors fo the night merge and get lost in the dawn

This first anniversary (of something) wasn't something I wanted to remember ... But unfortunately, it will not go away without reminding me of it. I am good with dates.

Did you know?

Did you know where the Governor General of Canada and the President of Canada live? Did you know that there was at one point of time a one dollar bill in Canada? Did you know Rideau river merges into the Ottawa river? Well, I now do know this, and a lot more! Today we had this fantabulous bus tour of Ottawa event sponsored by the Graduate Student Association for welcoming new grads. The bus took us around Downtown, Ottawa and showed us a number of places of interest, and also gave an idea of popular restaurants, pubs, etc. in Downtown... There's soo much water around Ottawa, and it's surrounded by three beautiful rivers - Gatineau river, Ottawa river and the Rideau river... There were so much greenery. We also got to take a peek into the Gatineau region - essentially a part of Quebec. I loved it absolutely. I think the events being organized by GSA are a great way for people from outside Ottawa to merge into the walks and ways of Ottawa. And the good part is that they continue till the end of next week :)

And the dreaded weekend is here. I'd be bored to death if I stick to staying home for both days... I donno where I can go... And I don't really know people yet...

I still haven't settled down quite for getting into the mood of studying... I should, though! My mum's glad Ottawa puts me to sleep early, and makes me wake up early as well! I am not too glad with that...

Where are you from?

OK, the most common question that anyone is most likely going to ask you in your first communication with them: Where are you from?

What do I say?

• Toronto? - that's where my parents are, that's what's been "home" for the past 3 something years
  
• India? - that's where my roots are ... that's where I belong ultimately, but that is not where I am "coming from" at the moment.
  
• Coming from Toronto, originally from India? - that's too long an answer for a question as short as "Where are you from?"

What do I say??

The beginning

I am extremely tired. I know I haven't written anything sensible in the past some days. I haven't really been in the mood yet. Plus everyday I get so tired... I wonder why Toronto wasn't this tiring ever... And I haven't started studying as well... Grad school doesn't give vibes like those of an undergrad school... It seems much harder. There's stuff that I really need to get done ASAP, but I cannot even get to start them.

Anyway, besides the tiredness, there's so much that I want to talk about. I am missing Toronto a lot, specially today. It's one of those days today... I am so glad RA's been talking to me really really frequently, and listening to all the crap that I have to say. I am so thankful for having him around. I wish I made friends fast...

I think people in Ottawa a lot more friendlier and helpful than they are in Toronto. If they are unable to help you with reaching some-building, they feel so sorry, as if not knowing and not being able to help you was all their mistake (I experienced this a couple times...). They talk more, and smoke less... and they are not allowed to smoke in the approximate distance of 10 m from the entrance doors to uni buildings, which I think is absolutely amazing. The roads do not seem as simple and straight as Finch E or Finch W, and Yonge N or Yonge S. It might be a while before I get to understand the curves and turns. And yes, I am not saying Ottawa is better than Toronto - it isn't; it lacks my family and friends yet...

There was this trip to the Art Gallery that was organized by Grad Student Association today, and I went there. This Art Gallery is soooo much better than the Art Gallery of Ontario that they have in Toronto. There's also this bus tour of Ottawa tomorrow, which I may attend.

Coming to studies, well, honestly, I am most likely going to sleep right after posting this. Gawwwd give me some more time... Where is all the time one has as a student??? It will be a while before I adjust to everything...

Good night world!
11:12 p.m.

Mood of the moment: Homesick
Song of the moment: Hum rahein ya na rahein kal ...

Update

I have moved to Ottawa finally. The sinking feeling is still lingering on. It is probably because I do not really have anything better to do at the moment. And it being a holiday today doesn't even allow me to get to someplace. I finished setting up my room last night, configured my shelf, setup my printer, woke up early this morning (well early, in my dictionary means 8:30), and went for a walk, made my breakfast, got my phone number changed, changed my address at a number of places. Wasn't I productive enough for two days?

There's a window in my room, that faces west and lets sunlight in after 2:00 p.m. till whatever time the sun is visible. Yes, room gets relatively large amounts of heated sun. But I am praying for the days to be shorter so that the winter sun from the room would look good :)

I have some stuff to buy, which I'll probably do tomorrow. And I still have the whole evening to pass... urghhhh